Friday, April 5, 2013

Revenge: Bitter or Sweet?

Sisters, I hesitate as I sit here to write a blog on THIS topic, as it is such a personal one to so many of us. I've been busy life-coaching mistresses OUT of their affairs this week as usual, and at least four of them all want to 'seek revenge' (i.e. they want to call 'the wife'). So here are my thoughts on the topic.

Generally, when you exact an 'act of revenge' it very seldom gives you the result you seek. In fact it can leave you hurting (and feeling more angry and bitter than you did before). Revenge is - at best - extremely unsatisfying, I know that from personal experience. However, I also understand the feelings of 'wanting to get even,' 'making him pay for what he did,' etc, the list goes on. It's almost as if there needs to be a revenge equation, something that would somehow balance the love-grievance, redress the balance, then enable the aggrieved party to be able to move on with the rest of their lives.

Sometimes there is nothing than can ever compensate for a romantic disaster or fallout, because let-downs and betrayals can leave you feeling like your whole world has collapsed, your heart and soul violated and abused. However, one remedy is starting a happy and healthy relationship with someone MUCH nicer (and SINGLE). So, rather than us pontificating about that age-old adage,"happiness being the best form of revenge," perhaps we ought to start saying that, "forgetting is the best chance of happiness." After all, THEY will always be cheats, but you my dear Sisters-of-the-Mistresshood, had a lucky escape from these men, and, to me that is revenge in itself.

Let me leave you with a posting from a mistress here on Pillow Talk, who describes her experience when she called a wife up for revenge, she says; "I was the other woman who told his wife about him cheating on her, because he wouldn't leave me alone. All she said was, "What do you want me to do about it?" She said, "The wife acted in the same way that he would when he used to berate or manipulate me." She went on to say that she 'couldn't believe her manner in which the wife spoke to her, and, that they deserved each other in her opinion.'

Get your heads out of the sand ladies, and stay true to YOU!!
Peace and hugs
Sarah J. xox


Anonymous said...

Wow. This post could not have come at a better time for me. My ex wont leave me alone either and i thought of telling his wife to make him leave me alone but i suspect i would get the exact same response. the wife needs to live in denial the way we needed to live in denial for a while. But we got out. We are FREE!

kaiyn said...

That's why I would, in theory anyway, have fedex or ups deliver a package containing printouts of all of the texts, all of the pictures, all of the emails, and a disc of any videos made, certified delivery requiring the signature of the intended recipient so that the MM can't intercept it. So she would know and hopefully take the action she needs to. My MM's wife is dim, spineless and easily controlled, which is why he married her to begin with, but even she couldn't refute that kind of evidence. And to be completely fair, he has earned that kind of pain. It wouldn't be revenge against her, per se, although I would take satisfaction in it, but against him. For abusing our 10 year friendship in this way, destroying the self esteem I had and shattering my heart into a million pieces.

lostgirl said...

Kaiyn, why are you mad at the wife at all? He was with her first right? So that makes you wrong. Not her. Even if she is dim witted. You should pity her. and you are BEYOND WRONG for being with him in the first place. WHY didnt you say no when you found out he was married. Even if you had already had sex with him. JUST SAY NO!!! I had a boyfriend that TRIED to turn me into a whore/mistress. I had feelings for him, he was hot, great in bed and treated me good. But the minute I found out he was married still and not divorced , and even sometimes sleeping/living with his wife AND his kids. Not at only his own place like he led me to believe. I left. I told him if he ever called me, emailed me or even breathed in my directionI would tell his wife, and hoped she would take all he had in a divorce because he deserves it. I found out later that I was one of many women he had fooled into believing he was single. I have standards for myself. I don't cheat on my man, and I don't sleep with married or even men with a girlfriend or sex buddy. If that man has a woman of any type I want NOTHING to do within. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he will do it to them he will do it to me too. THAT'S CALLED COMMON SENSE. You should think deeply about what I've said. Have some respect for yourself. and some for that poor pitiful wife too. Leave the pig. YOU HAVE ALLOWED HIM TO ROB YOU OF 10 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. Get a clue. If he was going to leave her he would have by now. Don't believe me? Test him. Tell him to choose NOW, and you are leaving. It's her or you, and you are not wasting any more of your precious time on a relationship that is going NO WHERE. AND STICK TO IT. NO BACKING DOWN. But I do really have to wonder. Why do you want that loser anyway? Hasn't he taken enough from you? How much more of your life and soul are you going to give him? Hopefully the poor pitiful wife will also wise up and leave him too. He's got it good now. He's got you and her satisfying all his needs. He deserves to have you both leave alone. To lose you both. Let him rot in hell alone, like he deserves.