Thursday, January 28, 2010


Dear all,
It increasingly seems that these days, "revenge" is becoming the "new nice!" Maybe Hallmark should even think about printing a line in revenge cards? I'm sure they'd fly off the shelves - especially at Valentines Day. (Why am I thinking this would make a good episode of Sex and the City BTW?).

From Bernie Madoff's (alleged) mistress writing a book to tell us how small his trouser assets were, ewww...and eeeek.....(but is anyone shocked to hear that? Big ego small parts etc) to John Edward's ex-aide -Andrew Young - releasing a book on what really happened, to YaVaughnie Wilkins, the Mistress of Time Square. We have to wonder what the next revenge story will be.

I'm always surprised that people get so shocked when a woman wants to exact revenge on an ex-lover who used to have all the control in their relationship. Especially if they consider themselves to have been nice, patient women throughout. They naturally feel vengeful. If you love deeply it's just common sense that you grieve deeply too, especially if you have been duped or dumped (God forbid BOTH!!!) and the love you thought you had was proven to mean nothing at all to the other person.

Sometimes the best form of revenge is just simply to make the truth known. As Mistress Wilkins did last week. You want to try and get even with the person who has hurt you and humiliated you so much! When women write to me to ask me if I think they ought to take revenge on a married man, the most typical remedy they want me to endorse being 'should they call the wife,' I never advise them what to do for obvious reasons. What I do say though, is that only you know what you need to do in order to deal with the intense pain you are feeling, to have closure and to move on, but I always remind them to think about their tomorrows too. I personally think it best to somehow get even, get over it, and get on with your life! And on that note, check out this piece on just that in today's Sydney Morning Herald. Bet there will be some splutters over tea and toast in some households down under this morning :-)

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Mistress of Times Square!

Well well well. Revenge definitely is a dish best served cold, or, in this case, a billboard 'erected' in chilly Times Square, New York. I personally have just one word for it. Genius!!

Any and all of my sisters of the mistress-hood will know exactly what drove our "Sister YaVaughnie" to do this, and most of us are applauding her for it in droves. If we'd had the resources we may also have resorted to similar action. Man, I would have been all over Manhatten!!!! In fact, this has got my juices going, and I'm currently looking for a sponsor to help me put up a billboard in Times Square too; it would say, "Come on Gordon, be a man and own up to your shortcomings. Admit to our affair of 7 years!!"
(For the record, he too referred to me as his soul mate. Oh the irony. *rolls eyes*).

This incident should warn all MMs out there that unless they keep their mistress happy, things like this will be all too common, as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and, you can triple that if it's a mistress scorned!

Sister YaVaughnie, if you are reading this, please come join us at an MA meeting soon. You are our hero right now and have been the talk of my Mistresses Anonymous meetings all weekend. Your story just highlights the level of hurt many women suffer at the hands of a deceitful married man, and the level of revenge it can lead them to ultimately wanting to exact.

Unless one has ever been in the husband-mistress-wife triangle they can never ever know how toxic it really is, and therefore should not be so quick to judge. For those ignorant enough to want to, we know you will anyway. My last thought on this topic is, I'll bet these ads were sponsored by a Republican :-)

Sarah J. x

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Relationships are as good as YOU make them!

Hi ALL......
With so many of you writing to ask me dating advice and relationship questions these days, I've decided to step-up the "Pillow Talk" blog a notch, so as to include EVERYONE, not just those suffering the effects of infidelity/those who want to know how to spot if their partners are cheating on them.

Being a reformed hell-raiser myself, I'm working hard on my own relationships, and I certainly know what NOT to do anymore, that's for sure! It seems these days though, we are all so busy trying to be "equal" with our partners, that many of us have lost the feminine qualities men look for. You only need to watch an episode of "Mad Men" to see what I mean. Men want to meet the woman of their dreams, not the bitch of their nightmares. Be that woman of his dreams.

Ladies, write to me if you want to know how to keep your boyfriend/husband/partner happy. It really is quite simple you know, I call it the "ESF Rule." More on that later, as well as tips on how to be the best woman you can - from the inside out, as that really IS what will eliminate the need for your other half to stray, you know. (That, as well as not nagging him so much of course :-).

Having had the privilege of working with so many of you, helping you get out of your dysfunctional relationships, and into healthy ones, I've had a lot of experience with it all, especially over the past year. Who knows, maybe I'll even start the "Pillow Talk Dating Agency" soon, the way it's going, as SO many of you tell me it's hard to meet decent single men and women these days! (Could I join my own agency? LOL)

Send me your relationship questions by leaving a comment on this blog. No problem too big or too small here at Pillow Talk. I'm here to inspire you all to live your best lives.

Come on, what are you waiting for? It's a new year. Make it the best one of your life!! Out with the old ways of behavior - if they are not working - and in with the new. Stop "settling" for your lot. Relationships should be a joy, not a burden remember!!

Sarah J. x

Monday, January 11, 2010

"Oh Come All Ye Unfaithful!"

Dear all,
I would normally just say "Dear Sisters" as you know, but, it has come to my attention that many men read my blog these days too. Men who are either of the "cheating married man variety," or the "Other Man" having an affair with a married woman, or just guys who seek my relationship advice on issues in their relationships with their girlfriends (and sometimes even their boyfriends!!)

So, things are getting busy here at Infidelity HQ. Especially with the latest affair scandal to rock the political world in the UK; that of the Ireland's First Minister's wife - Mrs. Iris Robinson - who was having an affair with a boy of nineteen years old, while she was nearly sixty!! (yes you did read that right!!). To add to the ick factor, it is alleged she had up to three more affairs (well there is never just one is there) one of them being with the 19 year old's late father........Ugh!! With both Mr and Mrs Robinson having 'stepped down' now, things are pretty stormy over at Stormont to say the least!

As the world's only Infidelity Analyst, I'm being asked to comment on that story daily, but I will always have time for my sisters and our daily Mistresses Anonymous chapter group meetings...
As usual, they start daily at 5.30pm EST and here is the link to attend.

MA is like AA, it will help you end your addiction to a toxic part of your life (i.e. a relationship with a married/unavailable person). It is complimentary to attend, and liberating to be with others in your situation. All this from the comfort of your own home. Oh, and if you are going through a bad time, at least at "MA" you can have a drink :-)

See you later
Sarah J. x

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year, Happy New You!

Dear sisters

A very happy new year to you all. I have heard from so so many of you during the holidays, and have helped a good few of you get out of your affairs. Isn't it wonderful to feel free of a married man, and the counterfeit happiness we once thought was real? I am so happy to have helped so many of you.

I do hope that for any current mistresses who were sad and lonely over the holidays (while your MM was quite the opposite, no doubt) that you will remember those feelings and use them as the catalyst to get out of this dead-end situation you are in, and realize that you deserve so much more!

Lastly, a note for the couple of ignorant men who left comments on my blog, after hearing me on a radio show; you are right, I shan't post them, as you are both too ignorant to have listened properly. If you had, you would have realized I am not being hypocritical at all, as I am no longer with a married man, nor do I ever plan to be again. So yes, when I put them down, I really do mean it, as being with a married man was the biggest waste of time I ever spent. Reading your comments to me came a very close second!

Peace sisters and see you at MA very soon!

Sarah J. x