Saturday, December 26, 2009

It's over!!!

For all you practicing mistresses, the day you dreaded (i.e. Christmas Day) is finally over! I do hope that for many of you, this will be the LAST Christmas you spend with a man who is having a happy family Christmas somewhere without you.

I heard from so so many of you this past week, and especially yesterday, all saying the same thing. All 'trying not to think about the kind of day your MM was having with his family:' 'Trying not to think about him having xmas sex with his wife:' 'Waiting for HIM to call YOU' and reporting to me that many of your MMs were 'calling you to remind you of just 'what an awful xmas he was (NOT) having!' (Yawn and LOL if you fell for that old chestnut!!)

These are all manipulation and control tactics on the MM's part. I do hope you can see this!! Sadly, most of you told me you couldn't wait for the day to be over, and were crying and 'in pieces.' Nice! Some 'happiest day of the year' that was for you then eh? MM hijacked that for you and YOU LET HIM.

I do hope that you will all begin to wake up now. Realize that all you are doing as a mistress is keeping someone else's marriage going, just like putting top grade oil in car to keep it running!

Will you be also dreading New Year's Eve for the same reasons? Or will you finally begin to unleash the power of YOU? You all have the power within you to change anything about your life, so, stop making excuses for someone else and start doing something for yourself.

Here is a link to the Mistresses Anonymous (on-line) support and recovery group - meetings are usually held daily at around 5.30pm EST

Stay strong
Justify Full
Sarah J. x

Friday, December 18, 2009

Surviving Christmas as a Mistress!

Well Sisters,
The most unhappy time of the year for some of you is soon to be here. Christmas. That time when those in love with an MM will feel a number of emotions, especially on Christmas Day. These will range from bitterness, resentment and jealousy, but - most of all - a complete sense of emptiness, lonliness, and sadness. Am I right?

Only you will know if you want to live like this for another year. I do hope you won't. I so do NOT miss that feeling sisters I can tell you, and I would sure rather be alone and lonely, than lonely and waiting for the phone to ring while obsessing about what MM is doing at the happy family home. Ugh, I feel an acute attack of nausea just remembering that feeling!

I hope that you will use this time of year as a benchmark and make a note of all the things your MM hasn't done (that he promised you he would). The list will be pretty long I'm sure, and I hope you'll be checking it twice!

I'd love to hear your comments ladies. And would also love to hear from any mistresses who are happy in their affair and therefore won't be at a loss on Christmas Day, I doubt there are many as I never hear from a 'happy mistress!' My ears are open though. Also, if you are the 'other man' (aka a 'misteress') having an affair with a married woman, feel free to leave your comments here on my blog too.....

Lastly, I will be holding a special Christmas Day Mistresses Anonymous Group meeting, time to be advised next week.

Below is the latest link to the Mistresses Anonymous online support group. See you there!

Peace to all mistresses, and stay strong (And, get out there and bag yourself a hot SINGLE man, even if he is just for Christmas!)

Sarah J.x

Friday, December 11, 2009

Letter from a TYPICALLY selfish MM!

I wanted to post this letter from an MM so you could hear his views, hear it from the horses mouth. He is -and will remain - anonymous!

My question to you MM, is, based on all you have said, when are YOU leaving to be with your mistress of TWO years then eh? As for throwing the kids under the bus that is never what I/we say or want. Trust a man to put it that way. But my dear, you are already throwing them under the bus (to use your words not mine) by having a relationship with a woman who is not their mother. If you had any balls you would put your house in order first and do the right thing. Many second marriages and extended families are very very successful. But no, you want it all. You want your family existence and to keep your poor wife in the dark while running a home and bringing up your kids, and to survive you want 'your bit on the side' too. I bet your 'troubled mistress' is really looking forward to Christmas eh? NOT. I hope she will come to my MA group. I'd love to chat to her!! I hope you wife follows your lead and gets a nice single man on the side too!

"I'm the MM and in a relationship for 2 years with a now single woman. WHen I met her, she was also married, but wasn't happy and subsequently got divorced about a year into our relationship. I was always clear with her before her divorce that I couldn't leave my kids and get divorced, but she got divorced anyway, stating it had nothing to do with me. Now, 2 years later, she is troubled because I am still living with the wife and kids and she is divorced and not living with me. We both are very much in love, and at this point, I want to leave my situation for her, however, a divorce is not in the cards financially at this time. Its a very difficult situation for both of us I think. I am sure other MM struggle with this issue because they don't want to screw up their kids lives also. The women in this blog seem to find blame with the MM for not throwing his kids under the bus and moving in with the mistress. But what kind of man can just forget about his kids and do that without a thought???? Would the mistress really want a guy that could easily dump his family for his mistress? I think not.

I have read in this blog that the stats for the MM and the mistress ending up together is extremely low. I don't think that is true. 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway. I can see being very happy with the woman i am involved in, as soon as I can figure out a divorce settlement. Afterall, the MM is with the mistress for a reason!

Some people in this blog have pointed out the MM will not marry the mistress because of the 80/20 rule. I think that is silly. From my perspective, a MM is looking outside his marriage for a companion that actually gives a damn and doesn't take him for granted. That goes for in the bed and out! If the MM finds good companionship in and out of the bedroom, the wife is done! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but within the near future.

So for all those thinking the mistress has no chance, I dare say, they are dead wrong. The mistress plays the most important part in the MM life, and the MM will do everything in his power to eventually end up with the mistress. THis may not be true for all men, but it makes sense for most normal, intelligent men."

**Final note to MM from me - How dare you be so patronizing to us, and to your current mistress!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Urgent note to Mistress X in distress!

To the mistress who left me this blog comment earlier, yes, I will help you. You can talk with me and other mistresses daily at one of my Mistresses Anonymous support group sessions. Here is the link. We will start at about 5pm EST tonight, although you may find other women in there throughout the day, as we tend to all be on different time zones. Stay strong sister - I can help you.

"It's great to know I can vent thru this blog. I need someone I can email on a daily basis who would be willing to help me and guide me through this difficult journey. I'm trying to break away from my MM. We've been together for 10 years.I struggle everyday. I'm on my 11th day of no communication and starting to lose the strength to carry on. I have tried this many times before and failed.

Please will someone with a similar experience talk to me on a regular basis? I'm losing my mind but would like to do the right thing. I've been hurt so many times and want out!"

See you at MA later! Sarah J.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mistresses Anonymous Meeting tonight!!

Dear Sisters of the Mistresshood,

First of all, I will be holding an emergency MA support group session tonight at 5.30pm EST for any of you who can get in there. After hearing so many sad stories from so many of you at this time of year, I can see it is necessary.

Secondly, many of you have complained to me about the new look MA chat room layout, and with good reason. I totally agree with you. The chat room screen is now too small and, also, we can't see the list of who is in the room at any given time - which is not cool at all. So, for now, until I refine things even more, please use this link which will take you back to how things used to be in there. Oh how we like familiarity eh :-)

Also, I must apologize for my absence at MA for a while, but I have been crazy busy and now literally just got back from Dublin where I was filming a talk show. I plan to be there for you all as much as I can now, as this is the worst time of year for 'practicing Mistresses' and complacent ex-Mistresses - i.e. Christmas!

There is a chapter in my book, "Surviving Christmas as a Mistress, and other holidays," but it is hard none the less, so I will be here for you, with an emphasis starting from now and - up to and including - Christmas day :-)

I also want to welcome all the new Sisters of the Mistress hood that have written to me since seeing me on the Dr. Phil show on Monday. I hope you will join us too.

Hope to see you later

Sarah J x